Let’s talk about being a working woman over 60. It’s not for the faint of heart, especially when your face starts pulling some real shenanigans. One day you’re feeling great—you got a raise, your slacks still button without an act of Congress, and you treated yourself to a little Botox because, why not? It’s practically affordable now. Like, “skip two Target runs and a Starbucks habit” affordable.

But here’s the catch no one warns you about: the top half of your face starts looking smooth and serene, like a Zen garden… while the bottom half still looks like a roadmap of the Mojave Desert. Your forehead says yoga influencer, but your neck says turkey after Thanksgiving.

So naturally, you start thinking about surgery. You know, a little lift, a little tuck—just enough so your jawline can stop playing peekaboo with your collarbones. But here’s the kicker: facial surgery costs about the same as a trip to South Africa to see wild gorillas. And suddenly you’re stuck choosing between looking 50 or living out your Jane Goodall dreams.

I priced it out. For the cost of pulling my jowls back into their 1997 positions, I could be in a tent in the mountains of Rwanda, sipping tea and staring into the wise, judgmental eyes of a silverback who definitely thinks I should’ve just embraced aging and bought better sunscreen in the ‘80s.

But remember COVID? (How could we forget.) Back then, the choice was easy—wear the mask. Boom. Problem solved. No one could see my neck unless I got reckless and bent down to pick up a dropped pen.

Oddly enough, the gorilla sanctuary still requires masks. Not because they care about our faces, but because gorillas are highly susceptible to human respiratory viruses. So it turns out, even if you drop a small fortune to visit these majestic creatures, you still have to cover up your neck. Not to protect your pride—to protect the gorillas.

So now I’m thinking: Maybe we bring back masks as a fashion statement. Like neck Spanx. Classy. Mysterious. Gorilla-safe.

After all, if we’re going to age, we may as well do it with humor, dignity, and just a touch of injectable narcissism. And if that doesn’t work, there’s always the gorilla trip. Just don’t forget your mask. For their sake.

• #AgingGracefullyish
• #BotoxBlunders
• #Over60AndFunny
• #NeckToNowhere
• #FaceFreezeChronicles
• #WrinklesAndWit

#WorkingAfter60

• #GrownAndGroovy
• #CareerReboot
• #BossLadyAt60

#GorillaGoals

• #SilverbackJudgment
• #MaskForTheMonkeys
• #GorillaApproved